I present a collection of phrases, aphorisms, and funny jokes about the office. Among the related topics, see Phrases, quotes, and sayings about the office manager, Phrases, quotes and aphorisms about the employees, Phrases, expressions, The Office Quotes and funny jokes about the secretary, quotes and sayings about the bureaucracy and Phrases of wishes for the colleague.
Quotes, aphorisms, and funny jokes about the office
The brain is an extraordinary organ; The Office Quotes starts working from the moment you wake up in the morning and doesn’t stop until you walk into the office. Then I’ll come
(Robert Frost)
– You didn’t even know I had a mistress! So and so.”
– I suspected it: you stayed in the office three nights a week, and we didn’t get richer! Then I’ll come
A mediocre one in the performance of one’s office: a spectacle that borders on perfection. So and so.”
(Amedeo Ansaldi)
It is called the office because it derives from ‘off that is the noise you emit as soon as you enter the morning. Then I’ll come
(sil_assenzio,)
My office? My mind is my office.
(Albert Einstein)
How would you think it was fun to wake up at half-past six with the bell, jump out of bed, get dressed, swallow something unwillingly, shit, piss, brush your teeth and hair, and jump into traffic to get to a place where essentially a lot of money for someone else and also be grateful to whoever gave you the chance to do it? So and so.”
(Charles Bukowski)
My body is in the office, and my mind is sitting on a lawn making daisy necklaces. Then I’ll come
(mesmeric)
The luxury of the representative office is inversely proportional to the solvency of the firm. So and so.”
(Arthur Bloch, Law of Institutions, Murphy’s Law)
The most important thing about the universe is that it expands more and more, and, someday, it will fall apart and disappear. That’s why if the girl from the office next door has a few numbers but not all the qualities you would like, well, she’d better suit you. So and so.”
(Woody Allen)
Because in every office there must be an idiot colleague and in every condominium, a pain in the ass tenants are still unsolved philosophical problems. So and so.”
(Maurizio Manco)
Good excuses for the office:
- We’ve always done it this way.
- I didn’t know it was urgent.
- I am not usually the one that handles it.
- Nobody gave me the ok. 5. I’m waiting for the ok.
- How did I know, in your opinion?
- His work, not mine.
- Let’s wait for the boss to come back and hear from him.
- We don’t often make mistakes.
- Am didn’t know it was necessary.
- I have so much of that stuff to do that I can’t even do this.
- I thought I said that. 13.
I was not hired for this.
(Arthur Bloch, Office Morphology, Murphy’s Law)
Computers can do more work in less time since they don’t have to answer the phone. Then I’ll come
(Joey Adams)
OFFICE ARITHMETICS
The Stupid employee = Production
Stupid boss + Smart employee = Promotions
Stupid boss + Stupid employee = Extraordinary
Home is where you have your heart—office, where you have the guts.
(NicolaBrunialti,)
I spent the morning feeling like I forgot something. Then they called to find out why I was not in the office.So and so.”
(MixMic76,)
Do people who call me in the office say: “I’m late, you can’t understand what traffic today”? Do you think I slept here? So and so.”
(Barby_S_L,)
This morning after the fifth tour of the office building, Missing you quotes the technicians came out to the wall to give me partial times to find parking. So and so.”
(Darioloc81,)
This morning in the office, a colleague of mine told me: “Uh, look at how Nicola sleeps!” And I replied: “And you wake me up to tell me bullshit like that?”
(Bruce Ketta)
The office manager to the employee who is retiring: “I am sure that in retirement he will have many things to do. Certainly many more than what he did in the office ”.
If the boss allows you to take your work home, ask him if he lets you bring the bed to the office as well.
(David_IsayBlog,)
Nothing is created.
Nothing is destroyed.
Everything turns into anxiety about returning to the office.
(masse78,)
Recommendations office. Entry to non-favors is prohibited.
(Guido Clericetti)
Christmas is like a day at the office. You do all the work of looking for gifts, and the fat guy in the red jumpsuit gets all the credit.
How many hours are the last 20 minutes before leaving the office?
(Laradiceno)
Not everyone works in an office, including those who work in an office.
(Jim Davidson)
There is a reason that office and office have the same root.
6 August. Discomfort for those leaving today for the holidays. Imagine someone who has to stay in the office another week.
(FranAltomare,)
Repeat with me: the train is not an office, and I will not talk the whole trip on the work phone, breaking the gonads at all.
(Grim Reaper)
Coffee breaks in the office are starting to get tight. The Office Quotes Then I’ll see what the Human Resources Department thinks of my barbecue break proposal.
(diode Filezilla)
The office is not a stupid institution; it seems that it belongs more to the fantastic field than that of the silly.
(Franz Kafka)
What a fantastic light morning: all the homework and duties and the books and blackboards have flown away. And if you look into a random school or office, Bruce lee quotes The Office Quotes you no longer see anyone with their heads bowed over their desk. A taut string of light has brought everyone to the heights of dreams.
(Fabrizio Caramagna)
All the biggest bestialities happen in the morning: a man should only wake up when office hours are over.
(Karl Kraus)
A half-day spent in a public office to discover that there are still highly select paid staff to say “far-right.”
(MarcoSalvati, Twitter)
Office language breviary:
let’s do = do remind
me = forget it
could you send me one mail = do it yourself?
when you have 1-minute = tonight at home
(Comeprincipe,)
The sofa bed is an essential step in civilization, but I still await the office bed.
(Diode Filezilla)
Am I talking to Miss Bailey? Could you please come to my office? How do you say? Is he in bed? Then I’ll come.
(Groucho Marx)
Damn the snow that makes you arrive at the office a quarter of an hour late, then spend two hours on Facebook.
(mimic 76)
Boss: “This is the fifth time you show up late at the office this week. Do you know what that means?”
Me: “That it is finally Friday!”.
(Anonymous)
Benchley and I had such a tiny office that it would have been adultery if it had been an inch smaller. Then I’ll come
(Dorothy Parker)
The alarm rings, you delay it, and a moment later, you are in the office and don’t remember how you got there. Then he says that teleportation doesn’t exist. Then I’ll come
(m4gny,)
Today, the only job question they ask you in the office is: “Is it five o’clock already?” Then I’ll come
(Jeff Rovin)
Some public offices are like cemeteries. On each door, one could write: “Here lies Mr. So and so.”
(Moritz Gottlieb Saphir)
I propose that the good Monday morning be valid for the whole week, month, year, luster, and millennium in the office. Then I’ll come
(Grim Reaper)
If you don’t believe in the resurrection of the dead, take a look at any office at the time of exit. Then I’ll come
(Robert Townsend)
Mr. Better surprised me, Robin Williams quotes looking at the ceiling in awe, and shouted: Let me be the last time I find you thinking about death in the office. Then I’ll come
(Cesare Zavattini)
During a job interview, they asked me what my worst flaw is, and I replied d ‘flatulence.’ That’s why I have my own office. So and so.”
(Dan Thompson)
Everyone in the office had terrible breath, so I had some difficulty getting along with colleagues. (Mauro Meme, Twitter)
I worked at the employment office. When they fired me, I had to come back the next day: I came to hate that job. Then I’ll come
(Wally Wang)
Angels make butterflies during office hours. Then I’ll come
(Ramón Gómez de la Serna)
I went to the Missing Persons Office, but nobody was there.
(Mauro Meme)
Where is the Lost Projects Office?
(losca71,)
Open a lost years office for me. So and so.”
(Rattodisabina)
He never missed a train, he never arrived late at the office, he never knew the shame of getting a phone number wrong or putting the date of the day before on a letter: will he be saved on the Day of Judgment? So and so.”
(Carlo Ferrario)
